The Best Shaving Jokes to Chase Your Blues Away

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

When researchers said laughter was the best medicine, they weren’t joking. Laughing out aloud is good for the body and soul¹. That’s why we gotta have more of it during these times.

Here at Naked Armor, we welcome any excuse to laugh. That’s why, unofficial as this may be, we totally endorse this week’s celebration of the International Day of Jokes². Nothing beats a hearty laugh; it’s infectious and leaves everyone in a nice state of mind.

That’s why, to commemorate the event, which happens to fall on the first day of July and the first day of the working week, we scrounged around ole reliable Google for the best jokes to start your day with.

And, of course, since this is a shaving blog, we naturally picked the jokes that made fun of all things shaving. So here are ten of our favorite jokes that had us laughing.

1. There’s a reason why we always advise practicing your straight razor skills
2. Because we can never get enough of hearing a close-shave joke
3. Even among animals, manscaping always requires delicacy
4. When men of cloth go to the barbershop
5. We always love a good pun
6. When your barber isn’t keen on being hygienic
7. In hindsight, this should probably qualify as TMI
8. When in a game of one-upmanship…
9. Another reason why you should always hone and strop
10. And this is probably why you shouldn’t hit on Sweeney Todd’s wife

1. There’s a reason why we always advise practicing your straight razor skills

Joe was getting a shave from a relatively inexperienced barber who nicked him several times. The barber, trying to smooth things over, asked, "May I wrap your head in a hot towel?"

"No, thanks," said Joe. "I'll just carry it home under my arm."

2. Because we can never get enough of hearing a close-shave joke

Little Willie asked his mother: "Mama, don't soldiers ever go to heaven?"

"Of course they do!" protested his mother. "What makes you ask?"

"There are so many soldiers with beards, but I have never seen any pictures of angels with beards."

"Oh, that's because most men who go to Heaven get there by a close shave."

3. Even among animals, manscaping always requires delicacy

How do you shave a lion's ballsack?

***VERY*** Carefully.

4. When men of cloth go to the barbershop

A priest gets a haircut and a shave and asks the barber, "How much do I owe you?"

The barber says, "For a man of the cloth like yourself, father, no charge."

The following day, when the barber opens the shop, he finds a bouquet of 12 flowers on his doorstep.

Later that day, a Buddhist monk is getting his head shaved. "How much do I owe you?" he asks.

The barber replies, "For an enlightened man like yourself, no charge."

The following day, when the barber comes to open the shop, he finds 12 gems on his doorstep.

Later that day, a rabbi comes in to get his beard lightly trimmed and a haircut. "How much do I owe you?" he asks.

"For a man of God such as yourself, no charge," answered the barber.

The following day, when the barber comes to open the shop, he finds 12 rabbis on his doorstep.

5. We always love a good pun

What happens when Stevie Wonder tries to shave himself?

Stevie Nicks.

6. When your barber isn’t keen on being hygienic

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him, he mentions his problems getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing." says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth, and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few more strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem!" says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

7. In hindsight, this should probably qualify as TMI

During meditation, a monk asks his master, "Master. If a man shaves his ass, is he gay?"

His master thought for a moment and replied, "A man who cleans his house clearly expects a visitor."

8. When in a game of one-upmanship…

Driving along the freeway, I overtook a female driver doing her makeup in the mirror.

I was so shocked that I dropped my razor on my coffee.

9. Another reason why you should always hone and strop

How do you piss off an emo?

Give them a dull razor.

10. And this is probably why you shouldn’t hit on Sweeney Todd’s wife

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair, and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber lathered his face and started stropping the straight razor while a very busty woman knelt and began to shine his shoes.

The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room."

She replied, "I'm married, and my husband wouldn't like that."

The cowboy said, "Tell him you're working overtime, and I'll pay you the difference."

She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."

Experience the Luxury of a Perfect Shave

Included in the Merlin Straight Razor Kit, the Merlin Straight Razor features a Japanese stainless steel blade, expertly crafted for exceptional sharpness and durability.

Getting a straight razor is no laughing matter, though. You need a high-end, durable razor to give you an incredible shaving experience.

Here at Naked Armor, our straight razors are made from high-quality Japanese stainless steel, guaranteed to be as sharp as a master samurai’s katana. Our shaving kits, meanwhile, come complete with everything you need for a perfect shave. Each set includes a finely crafted straight razor, premium strop, tin of sharpening paste, badger-friendly shaving brush, and organic shaving soap, all housed in a luxurious, elegant box. Everything you need for a smooth, sophisticated shave is right at your fingertips.

If you want to experience the luxury of shaving in the comfort of your home, try the Naked Armor experience. Check out our stuff right here.

Some Naked Armor Essential Reads

History of Shaving + Infographic
A Guide to Beard Grooming {Infographic}
Why Straight Razor Shave is Better

References

1. Rosenfeld, J. (2019, March 7). 11 Scientific Benefits of Having a Laugh. Mental Floss. https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/539632/scientific-benefits-having-laugh
2. International Joke Day. (n.d). National Today. https://nationaltoday.com/international-joke-day/